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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:59 pm Post subject: Writer's Block story 1: The Last Bus |
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This is one of 5 stories I've got 'on the go'. None of them are finished for reasons even I'm not sure of :lol: Hope you like it so far anyway! :D
THE LAST BUS
Ten souls. Ten souls riding the last, short journey of their lives. A figure dressed only in a black, hooded robe stood at the front of a bus. It looked like an image from the nightmares of children, yet it was also a recognisable myth to the mortals it now looked at. It was fully aware that it could never tumble over as the bus sped towards it’s destination, as neither were no longer in the mortal realm of physics, rules and meanings. Indeed this ‘bus’ didn’t even qualify for a driver. It, just like the creature within it, was a mere servant to the almighty itself, performing yet another necessary task in their never-ending shifts. The unmistakable creature masquerading as an undead bus conductor stared motionlessly at the ten souls now, knowing already their destinations. He had hand-picked each in the past 2 Earth minutes. It stared but made no internal notes to itself; as it had no real definable emotions. This was not its creator’s fault however; indeed having no emotions made a rather tedious job a lot easier.
A creature resembling a skeleton that was clad in the same old black robe and hood since the dawn of time would almost certainly promote fear, wonder and perhaps even hatred as a result to the mortals on Earth of course. Indeed, by all mortal definitions, it would be a freak, someone to be laughed at and scared of in equal measure. Yet the ten mortal souls it gazed at currently were not scared or willing to poke fun at their undead guide. They had experienced the worst part of their journey, now they were beginning the final leg, a journey always spent in quiet contemplation of their past lives, as the heavenly-calming breeze and aura swept over them. With each second came new feelings of peace and tranquillity.
There were many mortals back on planet Earth that came to conclusions that the conductor of this holy bus was a brainless zombie, completing it’s job each day by acting merely on instinct alone. Perhaps they were right, perhaps they were wrong, for the ten souls in the vehicle, it didn’t matter anymore and for their undead guide, well, it wasn’t built for thinking. All the mortals were sure of what they had just experienced; and knew now without question the answer to their own theories they had all played with in their heads at some point in their lives, about the existence of such a creature as this standing before them now. Yet the creature itself could share the knowledge with the mortals certainly that humans could only truly understand and believe in it’s true purpose of being when they had came face to face with Death itself.
And they all would one day.
Such idle thoughts and theories, of course, never crossed the mind of something without emotions or feelings. As a result, it would never plot total domination of Earth, never start fights in cheap Texas bars, never lust after someone it could never even have. No, it wasn’t even capable of seeing the irony of this, and so many other images of Earthly society. Yet, why was something not even human, a mere, fragile, old skeleton without many of basic mortal’s thoughts, in possession of such power? It didn’t know and it didn’t care to know, because it didn’t need to know. It was on the planet Earth every second of every day, rather like it’s creator was. Yet, while it’s creator was a supreme being of omnipotent and omnipresent powers, capable of the miracle of creation, and therefore the beginning of all life, it still left one of it’s creations with the sole duty of performing this equally miraculous end-of-life ceremony.
Yes, this day-by-day, 24/7 divine duty was the Reaper’s job and, boy, was business good…
“Stay back! I’ll kill her!� Indeed, Sergeant Bennett’s notes on this particular criminal’s past would certainly support this theory. Fifteen liquor store robberies in the past three weeks alone, and a rather grisly eleven lives claimed by this man, this psycho, in just the past 14 days alone indicated without doubt that this man was more insane than a cow with BSE. Bennett chuckled to himself. Should I really be laughing when an effective serial killer is standing some six hundred feet above, with a knife held tightly against a woman’s throat? Oh oh, there goes my sanity again… he smiled this time. He liked smiling, smiling is good, just ask Ken Dodd. This made his smile grow to a grin. Smiling helped him avoid his problems, of which there were many. He made out a mock lonely hearts column application. – thirty four year old alcoholic divorcee seeks woman 18-19 for lasting relationship. Must have large chest, blonde hair and experience with ironing, washing dishes and gettin’ jiggy.
This time his smile turned into a full-blown laugh. He hadn’t had many recently, and so thought (as usual) that this was a bloody great time as any to laugh ‘till his sides ripped.
“Sir!?�
It was a sudden tug of his jacket sleeve that turned him to face Lieutenant Parker’s concerned face. Suddenly he remembered he had a job to do here.
“You alright Sarge?�
“I…just fine, thanks son�.
Lie number 1...
Bennett noticed that the kid still had the look on his face that suggested he thought his much older superior to be anything but. The kid’s right though here man. You might prefer his current bemused dog impression to his usual gormless, clueless jug-eared expression, but- He stopped short to laugh at his ‘newest funny’, as he like to say.
This behaviour wasn’t helping his plucky, young second-in-command’s career though, so he decided to get really serious for the first time since that fateful day his ex Maude packed her bags and left for San Antonio some five years previous. “It still hurts…� he muttered to himself. OK mister! He was annoyed now for allowing himself to go down that road again. She’s gone, she ain’t coming back and you’ve just gotta keep thinking of those lovely blondes that will reply to your advert tomorrow! He smiled again, this definitely broke the moment of depression.
“OK people!� Bennett shouted.
All twelve wannabe-SWAT recruits, that were all previously gazing up at the madman on the roof, now had their collective twelve pairs of eyes firmly locked on to their boss. He glanced downwards at Parker for a second, they swapped smiles, then all moments of niceties disappeared and big boss Peter Bennett took over.
Hehe, you always were a people-person Pete.
“Ok, I want this go smooth and by-the-clock, just as usual boys. We have…� he glanced at his watch, quickly looking back up again at his troops to find them all mimicking his movements, all hands on the watches. “…exactly six minutes to get up to the top floor and waste that son of a bitch before the darling Miss. Jennings up there kicks the preverbial bucket. Now, are ya ready!?!�
“YES SIR!!� was the already-triumphant cry. They knew they were the best in the city, if not the world. Arrogance was always going to born from such thoughts, but Bennett greeted it with open arms. So what if these kids thought they could dodge bullets? Arrogance in turn breeds adrenaline when needed and adrenaline is what keeps a disciplined soldier moving forwards and taking the bullets for the team. Yup, arrogance, adrenaline, teamwork and self-sacrifice were what was needed right here, right now. Well, that and seventeen strenuous weeks of training to get the prestigious Eagle Squad badge on the ol’ flack jackets.
“Ok then team, you know what to do, go up there, show ‘em who’s boss and kick some serious boot-ay! Go! Go! Go!�
No pointing and barking orders needed now, like there was not so long ago. Nope, now these guys were trained, disciplined and ready to crush whatever dared to fight them. As the twelve, tough s.o.b.’s grouped up and split their separate ways to approach the targets from different angles and times they had already been set in one of Captain Austin’s dreadfully-boring ‘full’ briefings. Bennett dropped back into his patrol car. It was now that the realisation truly dawned on him, that these twelve young men would be risking their asses for real in just a mere nineteen hours time. He sighed and turned to his young cadet sat in the passenger seat.
“So….whaddya’ think?�
“Well we’ve certainly got them well trained Captain Bennett� Parker smiled.
“Hehe, dammmnnn straight son! Even with you ruining our intelligent and sexy image, I’ve still been able to make these guys presentable and pass the grade.� Bennett grinned back.
“Hey, who’s seeing the sexiest girl in town…?�
“Erm…me?�
“What!? You seriously think that you’ll find someone remotely fiiiineee in a newspaper!?�. The grinning Parker got a light slap across the head for that particular Captain-defiance. They both laughed before facing front again to study the building ahead.
“You have the right to kiss my ass!� Peter Bennett always thought that he seemed to be the only person over thirty five that actually understood the humour involved in The Simpsons. Of which this was one of many in his repertoire that would always send his good friend Lieutenant Parker into raptures. This time was no exception. |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow that is amazing! It took me forever to read! But it is so good!! Well done mate! You have a real talent there!! |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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Why spank ya Amy, I do try :D
Hehe, I should've cut it down a bit perhaps :) |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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| No way that is the whole point in this section! To show case your work! What would be the point of cutting it down!! ha ha! Nah it is really really good! Well done!! |
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sunrize
Joined: 13 Oct 2004
Posts: 111
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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hey, great story ... I'm hooked in :D
so what happens next? what's goin down in Texas?
where's the bus going?
where are these SWAT guys off to?
and is Seargent Bennett related to Captain Bennett? |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 4:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Come on Jon more more more!! |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:13 pm Post subject: |
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lol The sudden transition from dreamy bus to SWAT training is a little odd even to me but, well I dunno how much I can say without spoiling anything for people, so I'll just say there's a link between all the planned chapters. :D
It's not quite as enginius as SAW, but I thought it was clever, for me anyway :D Though while I've never mentioned the hooded being's name in the bus, I think it's pretty simple to work out who it is anyway. *shrugs* :)
There's 2 Bennetts? Bugger me, there is! :lol: Hmmm...I'll have to read through again and see if that's a typo.. lol |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:48 am Post subject: |
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| So when are you going to post some more then? |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Simple my dear. When I get round to writing more :D I haven't written anything new to this story in 6 months :? Argh, I;ll try to break the block and continue. |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Do it, do it, do it, do it!! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:09 pm Post subject: |
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Where d'ya think I've been past 30 mins? :D
I've written another chapter and a bit, thus breaking the endless no writing cycle. I'm so proud :lol: |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Aww well done! See this place did break your writers block!! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes, all 650+ members will get mentioned in my first book. :D |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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| With me at the top of the list!! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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lol Ok then :D
My family
Amy for being a nutter
Patty for her wonderful pics
Ashlay, for her wonderful pics
:lol: |
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