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Post a FREE comment about Writer's Block story 1: The Last Bus
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Looks good to me!! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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Arf! :D
Right, finished writing the story for the day now. Lookin' gooood I must say :D |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:26 am Post subject: |
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| Good good! Well post it as soon as you have finished it properly!! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 1:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Oooh, that could take a few years :D |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah! But as you write it then post it! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 2:52 pm Post subject: |
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Awww nuts, thought I could get away with it then! :lol:
Well, I gotta go out now and laugh at a chummy while he works, I should be back tonight. I'll leave ya with all I've written so far. Take care folks! :)
The Last Bus
Ten souls. Ten souls riding the last, short journey of their lives. A figure dressed only in a black, hooded robe stood at the front of a bus. It looked like an image from the nightmares of children, yet it was also a recognisable myth to the mortals it now looked at. It was fully aware that it could never tumble over as the bus sped towards its destination, as neither were no longer in the mortal realm of physics, rules and meanings. Indeed this vehicle didn’t even qualify for a driver.
It, just like the creature within it, was a mere servant to the almighty itself, performing yet another necessary task in their never-ending shifts. The unmistakable creature masquerading as an undead bus conductor stared motionlessly at the ten souls now, knowing already their destinations. He had hand-picked each in the past 2 Earth minutes. It stared but made no internal notes to itself; as it had no real definable emotions. This was not its creator’s fault however; indeed having no emotions made a rather tedious job a lot easier.
A creature resembling a skeleton that was clad in the same old black robe and hood since the dawn of time would almost certainly promote fear, wonder and perhaps even hatred as a result to the mortals on Earth of course. Indeed, by all mortal definitions, it would be a freak, someone to be laughed at and scared of in equal measure. Yet the ten mortal souls it gazed at currently were not scared or willing to poke fun at their undead guide. They had experienced the worst part of their journey, now they were beginning the final leg, a journey always spent in quiet contemplation of their past lives, as the heavenly-calming breeze and aura swept over them. With each second came new feelings of peace and tranquillity.
There would be many mortals back on planet Earth that came to conclusions that the conductor of this holy bus was a brainless zombie, completing its job each day by acting merely on instinct alone. Perhaps they were right, perhaps they were wrong, for the ten souls in the vehicle, it didn’t matter anymore, and for their undead guide..well, it wasn’t built for thinking.
All the mortals were sure of what they had just experienced; and knew now without question the answer to their own theories they had all played with in their heads at some point in their lives, about the existence of such a creature as this standing before them now. Yet the creature itself could share the knowledge with the mortals certainly that humans could only truly understand and believe in it’s true purpose of being when they had came face to face with Death itself.
And they all would one day.
Such idle thoughts and theories, of course, never crossed the mind of something without emotions or feelings. As a result, it would never plot total domination of Earth, never start fights in cheap Texas bars, never lust after someone it could never even have. No, it wasn’t even capable of seeing the irony of this, and so many other images of Earthly society. Yet, why was something not even human, a mere, fragile, old skeleton without many of basic mortal’s thoughts, in possession of such power? It didn’t know and it didn’t care to know, because it didn’t need to know. It was on the planet Earth every second of every day, rather like it’s creator was. Yet, while it’s creator was a supreme being of omnipotent and omnipresent powers, capable of the miracle of creation, and therefore the beginning of all life, it still left one of it’s creations with the sole duty of performing this equally miraculous end-of-life ceremony.
Yes, this day-by-day, 24/7 divine duty was the Reaper’s job and, boy, was business good…
SEPTEMBER 2nd, 2004, 18:00 HOURS
“Stay back! I’ll kill her!� Indeed, Sergeant Bennett’s notes on this particular criminal’s past would certainly support this theory. Fifteen liquor store robberies in the past three weeks alone, and a rather grisly eleven lives claimed by this man, this psycho, in just the past 14 days alone indicated without doubt that this man was more as sane as a cow with BSE. Bennett chuckled to himself. Should I really be laughing when an effective serial killer is standing some six hundred feet above, with a knife held tightly against a woman’s throat? Oh oh, there goes my sanity again… he smiled this time.
He liked smiling, smiling is good, just ask Ken Dodd. This made his smile grow to a grin. Smiling helped him avoid his problems, of which there were many. He made out a mock lonely hearts column application in his mind – thirty four year old alcoholic divorcee seeks woman 18-19 for lasting relationship. Must have large chest, blonde hair and experience with ironing, washing dishes and gettin’ jiggy.
This time his smile turned into a full-blown laugh. He hadn’t had many recently, and so thought (as usual) that this was a bloody great time as any to laugh ‘till his sides ripped.
“Sir!?�
It was a sudden tug of his jacket sleeve that turned him to face Lieutenant Parker’s concerned face. Suddenly he remembered he had a job to do here.
“You alright Sarge?�
“I…just fine thanks son�.
Lie number 1...
Bennett noticed that the kid still had the look on his face that suggested he thought his much older superior to be anything but. The kid’s right though here man. You might prefer his current bemused dog impression to his usual gormless, clueless jug-eared expression, but- He stopped short to laugh at his ‘newest funny’, as he like to say.
This behaviour wasn’t helping his plucky, young second-in-command’s career though, so he decided to get really serious for the first time since that fateful day his ex, Maude, packed her bags and left for San Antonio some five years previous. “It still hurts…� he muttered to himself. OK mister! He was annoyed now for allowing himself to go down that road again. She’s gone, she ain’t coming back and you’ve just gotta keep thinking of those lovely blondes that will reply to your advert tomorrow! He smiled again, this definitely broke the moment of depression.
“OK people!� Bennett shouted.
All twelve wannabe-SWAT recruits, that were all previously gazing up at the madman on the roof, now had their collective twelve pairs of eyes firmly locked on to their boss. He glanced downwards at Parker for a second, they swapped smiles, then all moments of niceties disappeared and big boss Peter Bennett took over.
Hehe, you always were a people-person Pete.
“Ok, I want this go smooth and by-the-clock, just as usual boys. We have…� he glanced at his watch, quickly looking back up again at his troops to find them all mimicking his movements, all hands on the watches. “…exactly six minutes to get up to the top floor and waste that son of a bitch before the darling Miss. Jennings up there kicks the preverbial bucket. Now, are ya ready!?!�
“YES SIR!!� was the already-triumphant cry. They knew they were the best in the city, if not the world. Arrogance was always going to born from such thoughts, but Bennett greeted it with open arms. So what if these kids thought they could dodge bullets? Arrogance in turn breeds adrenaline when needed and adrenaline is what keeps a disciplined soldier moving forwards and taking the bullets for the team. Yup, arrogance, adrenaline, teamwork and self-sacrifice were what was needed right here, right now. Well, that and seventeen strenuous weeks of training to get the prestigious Eagle Squad badge on the ol’ flack jackets.
“Ok then team, you know what to do, go up there, show ‘em who’s boss and kick some serious boot-ay! Go! Go! Go!�
No pointing and barking orders needed now, like there was not so long ago. Nope, now these guys were trained, disciplined and ready to crush whatever dared to fight them. The twelve, tough s.o.b.’s grouped up and split their separate ways to approach the target from different angles and times they had already been set in one of Captain Austin’s dreadfully-boring ‘full’ briefings.
Bennett dropped back into his patrol car. It was now that the realisation truly dawned on him, that these twelve young men would be risking their asses for real in just a mere nineteen hours time. He sighed and turned to his young cadet sat in the passenger seat.
“So….whaddya’ think?�
“Well we’ve certainly got them well trained Sergeant Bennett� Parker smiled.
“Hehe, daaammnn straight son! Even with you ruining our intelligent and sexy image, I’ve still been able to make these guys presentable and pass the grade.� Bennett grinned back.
“Hey, who’s seeing the sexiest girl in town…?�
“Erm…me?�
“What!? You seriously think that you’ll find someone remotely fiiiineee in a newspaper!?�. The grinning Parker got a light slap across the head for that particular Sergeant-defiance. They both laughed before facing front again to study the building ahead.
“You have the right to kiss my ass!� Peter Bennett always thought that he seemed to be the only person over thirty five that actually understood the humour involved in The Simpsons. Of which this was one of many in his repertoire that would always sent his good friend Lieutenant Parker into raptures. This time was no exception.
(This is the new stuff I wrote yesterday..)
The pair glanced up through the windscreen as the first shots were heard. Of course, this was but a training exercise with a bit of fake background to proceedings to get the men ready for what was to come. In less than 24 hours, the men would be using real bullets and the maniacs they’d be up against won’t be holding knives he was sure.. Just think of the money Petey…and I ain’t talkin’ wages..
“Sir..� Parker now started.
“Yo?�
“Look! On the balcony! They’ve done it!�
Indeed, Blue team leader Private Harris was now waving his arms from the balcony of the vacant block of flats the recruits had recently breached. The Sergeant gave a thumbs up to the recruit, Harris then responded by beginning the long dash back down to ground level.
“You think Sarge will be impressed?� puffed Private Watkins as the twelve men of Eagle Squad dashed down the stair case with their rescued ‘hostage’ and ‘psycho’.
“Hell…does the pope wear a silly hat?� Harris wheezed back. They heard a groan behind them.
“Damn! I…ain’t..fit!� as always, the moaning eminated from Private Charles’s person.
“Shut it Charles and keep movin’! If we ain’t down these stairs soon we’ll gonna miss the deadline!�
“Then some other poor..� Charles paused to take a sharp intake of breath, �..-sucka’s get to be shot up on patrol tomorrow instead..of..us..so what?�
If they weren’t against the clock, Harris would have reeled on the irritating whiner. Instead he had to resort to words.
“Charles..why are you here?�
“To whup some terrorist ass.�
“Hmmm…that’ll do me� grinned Private Watkins.
“Bah!� Harris mock protested with a smile.
The dozen plucky recruits made to the bottom in record time as it happened. They were congratulated hole-heartedly by their two superior officers and told to some rest for their first patrol the next day.
All twelve had somewhat of a restless night, knowing that at 0900 hours, they would be getting the first ‘proper’ briefing of their SWAT-wannabe lives. Just a few short weeks later and they’d be made SWAT members. Each agreed it was all down to their commanding officer Sargeant Bennett.
For two reasons, Bennett didn’t sleep much that night either.
SEPTEMBER 2nd, 2004. 1800 HOURS
“Fotografia?� the kid must’ve been about 9 years old. Now Derek loved kids. About as much as he loved Syphilis.
“Me no understado!� he replied for the ninetieth time to the Portuguese brat.
“Que cenor?�
“Ahhh, get outta my face will ya!?� he got up out of his chair in the bar and stormed off outside onto the sandy beach. This was a bad move he realised straight away, the bar was relatively shaded from the scorching heat, and wearing his best (and tightest) white business suit and tie for the occasion wouldn’t have been considered good practice, even by these deigo hicks. He’d seen some idiots back home in London, but these amigos!? Man!
The kid hadn’t followed his thankfully, which was relief as he didn’t fancy being locked up in a stoner-walled Portuguese cell for the night on assault charges. After all, he had business to deal. |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Jeeze Jon you are good at this malarky aint ya! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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| And you're good at compliments, you ol' smoothie :D Flattery like that will get you more chapters :lol: |
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ash_the_minx
Joined: 04 Jul 2004
Posts: 12159
Location: cumbria!!
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| she is aint she!! hahah |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 8:54 am Post subject: |
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| No I am just a nice person! And like to compliment people when compliments are due! :D |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Are you sure you don't just want a complient back Amyster? :lol: |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 2:55 pm Post subject: |
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| No you cheeky monkey!! |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 3:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Well I was gonna, but ok.. arf! :lol: |
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Mullin
Joined: 16 Aug 2004
Posts: 20062
Location: Ivybridge
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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| You are so annoying somtimes! :) |
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Jon1983uk
Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 4423
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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T'ank ya :D
Hehe, you like me really :) |
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