South American Football

ukevents.net · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 2393

South American Football

Brazil

Brazil – Sun, sea, sex, samba and ignoring my so far magnanimous use of ‘S’s’ Football…ok sexy football. I would have been quite the fool to visit Brazil without tasting their succulent unique form of the beautiful game. We may be the inventors of the worlds best loved sport but only the country wearing yellow and gold (calm down Australians) can produce such a flamboyant, spontaneous, attack minded, successful interpretation of it on a competitive pitch (or beach, street & shanty town thinking about it). In South America’s biggest country football put simply is religion, politics and the circus all rolled into one. So being proud of my intellect and loosely Christian I was smitten… three times. So read, salivate and get yourself some tickets over there… followed by a further bout of tickets to a game of course.

Game 1 – Flamengo V Botafogo (11/2/07)

One day into our trip and the hostel tour presented us with the opportunity to visit the Maracana stadium (with the exception of Wembley possibly the most famous in the world). As God and myself have agreed to call it a truce for the time being he managed to make sure I lost my Brazilian football virginity with the first “classic encounter” of the season. Watching a game at the Maracanã has been a lifelong dream of mine since the day I realised it was a football venue and not in fact something Bez would regularly shake in his hands during crazy dancing times with the Happy Monday’s. So for any of you that are unaware (or girls) it was once the biggest stadium in the world hosting a hostile 190,00 capacity, but now after converting to an all-seater due to the word’s ever increasing obsession with health and safety holds around half of that figure. There were only about 40,000 at the game but the atmosphere was still amazingly different from anything the Premiership can give birth to. Outside the ground it’s easy to feel intimidated by the uniformed clan of fans all drinking & seemingly staring at your white skin, but once inside it’s a friendly football festival. We were treated to a 3-3 thriller with a last minute goal also disallowed. We sat with & supported the red and back dangerous looking strip of Flamengo. Like all good Gringo’s we also tried our useless best to join in with the non-stop chants but could only really absorb the melodies of “Oooooh, ooooooh, ooooh” (that’s not racist monkey chants by the way, that’s not me). Drums are beating constantly, huge banners & flags decorate the stands with the over inflated face of Che Guevara being particularly noticeable, & every time a goal went in fireworks or flares were let off & the entire crowd jump up & down in unison swinging their shirts around their heads in a high that can only occur from the sound of a ball brushing the back of the net after leaving the foot of one of your most worshiped players. It’s very different from English football but equally as passionate & exciting. The main difference being the barrage of drums and instruments that Brazilian fans use to orchestrate chants rather than a fat bald middle aged Englishman using abuse as the catalyst. In terms of football they tend to ignore simplicity and prefer to run with the ball rather than make a 5-yard pass. But that’s what the fans seem to desire and it’s confirmed every time they excitedly acknowledge a step over, flick or back heel. Defending doesn’t seem to be an issue but the lack of tactical awareness equals entertainment and goals. It’s also worth noting that I’ve seen a better standard of refereeing at my local 5-a-side league, and he uses a dog and a stick to negotiate his way around the pitch. Despite God restarting his feud by deciding to soak me throughout he couldn’t rain on this parade. It cost about £15 doing a tour from the hostel (including transport and guidance etc) but would be nearer £3 if you were to do it off your own back… well worth it.

Game 2 – Vasco de Gama V Fluminense (17/2/07)

For my second experience most of the hostel attended, meaning there was easily twenty of us, all huddled intelligently together to draw attention of potential thieves, muggers and rapists. But to be honest that comment was unfair as the majority of local fans will excitedly take, and be in photo’s with you… although it is advised not to get your digitals out until inside the stadium, so don’t blame me if you lose your 56mb memory chip and it’s photo’s of Christ the Redeemer, Sugar Loaf Mountain, the Copacabana and ‘Help’ nightclub (you’ll understand the last attraction if you ever get there). I’m not one to dish out health and safety tips but its no lie that a bit of common sense doesn’t hurt anyone… entiendo? The main pull of this fixture was the chance to see the legendary Romario in action. Without going into too much detail he’s a God in Brazil and ignoring the fact that he’s fast approaching 96 years old he’s on course to break Pele’s total goal scoring tally to become the most prolific Brazilian striker in history.

Despite more from the hostel attending it wasn’t as good as my virgin game. Who says the first time is always overrated? The crowd was significantly smaller & therefore a quieter atmosphere. Nevertheless there was still an abundance of colour, musical instruments, flags and fireworks… in fact I saw one Fluminense fan wearing a mask of his teams colours that made him look like a cross between Willy Wonker and the Elephant man. But as you’d expect with Brazilian football it was another cracking game with goals galore. 4-4 the final score. That’s 16 goals in two games now, not a clue how to defend. . Unfortunately Romário was a fat disappointment. He only came on as a sub but did little more than converse with his rumbling tummy, but at least I can say I’ve seen him… maybe a bit too much of him?

Game 3 – Vasco de Gama V Flamengo (25/2/07)

My third and final instalment of the Maracana was a massive semi final clash between Rio de Janeiro’s giants. Probably the equivalent to the Merseyside derby over here, but with Caroica chicas in bikinis as opposed to sun starved scousers wolfing down pies.

I was disappointed with the crowd turnout. The locals kept informing me it would be a sell out but there were only about 25,000 there. It was the worst attendance so far and yet the biggest occasion. Apparently it was because the authorities badly overpriced the tickets so the Brazilians saved their reais and just watched it on TV instead... clever. It just goes to show that any culture, position of wealth or social standing can stick it to authority. Still it was a good atmosphere, as the stadium always seems to create irrelevant of numbers. This time there was only five of us from the hostel. We got into the spirit of things by buying Flamengo vests. I’ve decided Flamengo are for me as they were the first team I saw, have the most fanatical support, and one of my heroes Che Guevara also seems to be an involuntary fan. I went for a more traditional team strip, whereas the others opted for one with a rather rude illustration of a Flamengo fan getting a blowjob off a female Vasco supporter.

This time we got to see Juninho (Middlesbrough fans remember?) Vs Romário. Put another way midget versus fatty. The game for once was a let down finishing 1-1. But in cup situations that magic score line means penalties, which Flamengo won. Despite both only making cameo appearances Junihno looks a far better player than fatty. I don’t think Romario’s goal record is as impressive as it makes him sound to be honest, going by the standard of play. I think Jason Lee could be termed a goal threat in this league. After the game we had to hide our tops as it was all kicking off between the fans. I saw a section of Flamengo supporters throwing any object they could find at rival’s walking beneath the underpass. The Metro in particular was said to be pretty bad. You can take the violence out of football but you can’t take the football out of… nope that’s not going to work at all!

Real Brazilian football

Watching a lesser standard of Brazilian football is again totally different from the more glamorous theatre of Rio’s home of football. It’s passion is a whole new uglier but interesting form.

ABC V America (22/4/07)

In Ponta Negra, Natal (north Brazil) I was escorted by my local female stalker to witness ABC Vs America (two brilliantly original names) as a mere pacifier in our regular communication breakdowns. It’s a world away from the Maracana… possibly the most violent game I’ve ever been to. No, actually lets be honest here, I wish to confirm that statement. For a start seats are an unnecessary luxury as jumping around non-stop on concrete steps are much preferred. It’s very much a case of back to the old fashioned days, with little heath and safety and an English non-league stadia appearance. The crowd don’t stop singing, even during half time. There were flags, balloons, drums, fireworks, explosions & a massive banner that took up the entire stand when unrolled. We got stuck under it jumping wildly, the fans are clinically mental. There’s also a cage surrounding the perimeter of the pitch that fans like to climb to the top of in order to dance/taunt, much to the annoyance of the heavy scattering of riot police. The fans spent most of their time making fight or “slit throat” gestures to opposing fans, and when that grows tiring they turn attentions to throwing things at the police then wait to be charged at with baton’s & shields. I saw at least 8 beatings being dished out along with the fascinating domino effect caused when fans are brutally pelted down from on top of the cage. It was quite exciting but intimidating at the same time. I had lots of different fans shouting in my face but was unaware whether it was passionately or aggressively? I was advised to leave 10mins early for my own safety…I left with the score 1-1, amid several cries of “GRINGO”… It was hard to concentrate on the football, but to be honest the standard wasn’t exactly addictive. Despite the ugly crowd scenes it’s that which excited me rather than the football itself today. If I went again I’d simply learn Portuguese, paint my face and reach for my inner hatred.

Argentinean football

Boca Juniors V Gimnasia LP (26/9/07)

The hostel attempted to persuade us to take their Boca tour as it’s “too dangerous” to do it of our own accord. But we didn’t fancy paying 120 pesos, and that’s in a location where god would have been free to soak our heads all game as he seemed on a relentless urination mission.

So nine of us stopped three taxis to see how “dangerous” it really isn’t? Huuuuuuuuuum interesting, a ticket for only 14 pesos and under shelter… good start. Admittedly the ticket was for behind the goal with the hardcore nutters, but that’s how I like it anyway. Plus I felt safe enough in a group of eight lads and an Aussie girl that looked like a giraffe. I love the ‘La Bombanera’ stadium. It’s unusually distinctive with its completely blue and yellow exterior and interior. Three sides of the ground are nicely rounded like most foreign stadia but the remaining side is noticeably upright and resembles a block of flats. It’s where all the boxes are situated, and on the halfway line you can see a bright yellow leather couch big enough to host the ample behind of Diego Maradona. He goes to most games but sadly the fat coke head genius was absent on my visit. They absolutely adore him… masterbatingly so. Under his couch lays a gaint banner reading “here sits King Maradona, oooooh we all want to bum you”… I can’t be certain the translation is 100% accurate. But don’t get me wrong I love the guy to. The best footballer that’s ever been and he’s played for two of my most beloved teams Napoli and Barcelona. A true genius and a rock n roll footballer at that. You can’t beat that combination.

Where we were stood it was vertically steep and cramped with a vast array of banners stretching all the way from the top of the stand right down to the cage surrounding the pitch. They obscure your view but look bloody impressive. The fans here are more passionate than the first week you spend with a foreign girl whose dream is to make it to England. 68% of the fans in this section have scars decorating their face, and I don’t mean from childhood acne problems. In short they are completely mental. Most of them don’t even watch the game; they stand on the railings facing away from the pitch orchestrating the singing along to a wicked percussion band. They only have a few songs but limitless energy levels. You get a few funny looks off the fans but as long as you join in with the support they’re alright with you. Mind you it’s pretty impossible not to get involved; the passion just takes you over. No wonder they call the section we were in ‘the 12th man’.

Football wise the Argentinean league is far more technical than what I saw in Brazil, maybe even England? You get more goals in the Brazilian games simply because they can’t defend, but I think I preferred this experience most. Boca won 2-1. After the game the nut heads and ourselves are required to stay behind for “safety reasons”. But the drums keep playing and after the 20min allowance everyone starts banging and whistling to be let out… then it’s every man and convicted rapist for himself. It’s like being at a gig; you just have to go with the sway of the crowd that have similar manners and patience to animals or Israeli’s. People were getting shoved into policemen and squashed up against walls, and this was only a dwarf of a game. It must be like a raging thug stampede during Boca V River?

It was a wicked experience. I didn’t have to pull any knives from my body or scalp and did it all (including transport) for 20 pesos… I think we know who made the right decision ‘Mr Limehouse hostel’?

Written by Simon for UKEvents.net