dizzy41
Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 2231
Location: Ohio,USA
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 6:33 pm Post subject: buckeyes jokes |
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GO BUCKS!!! - These are some pretty funny jokes!
A family of Michigan fans head out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in their local sports shop the son picks up an Ohio State jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Buckeye fan and I would like this for Christmas."
His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him on the head and says, "Go talk to mother."
Off goes the little lad with the Ohio State jersey in hand and finds his mother. "Mom?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Buckeye fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas."
The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him on the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"
Off he goes with the Ohio State Jersey in hand and finds his father. "Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be an Ohio State fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas."
The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son on the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"
About an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Buckeye fan for an hour and I already hate you Michigan b*st**ds."
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An Ohio State fan used to amuse himself by scaring every Michigan fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their obnoxious maize and blue colors. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and then he would swerve back on the road just before hitting them.
One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the van continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Wolverine fan strutting down the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the guy. Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Michigan fan."
"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
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It is late in the OSU-Michigan game on an overcast day. Michigan has the ball on the OSU 3, with 2 seconds left, and down 14-10. There is time for one more play.
Lloyd Carr calls timeout. As the team is coming to the sideline, Lloyd looks to the heavens and says, "God - I've been a good man. A churchgoing man. I've tried to do what's right and I've never asked you for anything. But, this is a big game and if I could get a little guidance, I would be forever grateful".
The clouds part, sun shines on Lloyd and he hears a voice bellow "I Right 39 Pitch Trap".
Lloyd can't believe it! God himself gave him the play! It'll work for sure.
The team comes to the sideline and Lloyd excitedly gives them the play. The timeout ends and the teams come back on the field. Lloyd can barely contain his excitement - he's going to win.
Play resumes and the ball is snapped. The Michigan QB pitches to the back. For a split second, there's a hole - which is quickly filled by AJ Hawk, who tackles the Michigan back short of the goal line.
Time expires and Ohio State players storm the field to celebrate. Lloyd is in shock - he can't believe the play didn't work.
Lloyd looks to the heavens and cries, "God - why did you call THAT play?"
God looks down, shrugs, turns to his right and says, "Woody - why did we call that play?"
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MICHIGAN JOKES/F*** MICHIGAN THOUGHT THIS WAS CUTE... GOOOOO BUCKS
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a
Michigan joke?"
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know
something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan
Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also a
Michigan Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three
times"
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It was reported that the Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr will only be
dressing 20 players for the Ohio State game ...the rest of the players
will have to dress themselves!
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Did you hear that the University of Michigan library burned to the
ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed....
the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in
two of the books yet!
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What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?
Columbus: 187 Miles
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What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
Drool
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How do you get a Michigan Graduate off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza
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Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU grad, a
Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad.
Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As
they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most
loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame
grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is for the
fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad
threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany
Lions!" Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is for
the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain.
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What did the Michigan grad say to the OSU grad?
"Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order please?"
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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of
work.The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gave him
a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."
"But, I'm a Michigan graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I
even played football there!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me
the broom, I better show you how."
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Two Michigan football players were hootin' and hollerin' while
partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were
celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a
jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!"
exclaimed the bartender. The Wolverine proudly replied, "Yeah, the
box said 4 - 6 years!"
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A Wolverine football player was almost killed today in a tragic
horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly
trampled to death.Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an
unplugged the horse just in time.
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A little boy and his mother were walking through a Michigan cemetery,
when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies a Michigan
graduate and a good man."
The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in
there?"
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Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking
about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.
As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand.
Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp.
"Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did.
"You will each get one wish," said the genie.
Lloyd offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around
the entire state of Michigan so that none of those stupid Ohioans can
ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high,and I
want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our
peace!" The genie grants the wish to Lloyd and his is instantly whisked
away to his new paradise.The genie now tells Jim he'll grant him one
wish.
Jim says, "Fill it up with water."
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Why is ice no longer available at Michigan football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.
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What are the three longest years of a Michigan football player's
life?
His freshman year.
If you enjoyed those, pass it on and share the love with fellow OSU fans!
O-H!
GO BUCKS! |
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