Obituary: The Sad Passing of Common Sense

ukevents · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 1941

> Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
> has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
> since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
>
> He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
> knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
> worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
>
> Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
> more than you earn), and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not
> children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly
> when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
> Reports of a six year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
> kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash
> after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
> only worsened his condition.
>
> Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
> job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
> declined even further when schools were required to get parental
> consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a
> student; but could not inform the parents when a student became
> pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
>
> Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
> contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
> treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
> couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
> burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the
> will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of
> coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly
> awarded a huge settlement.
>
> Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust;
> his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
> Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights,
> Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his
> funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember
> him pass this on. If not join the majority and do nothing.
>