In Hot Soup!!

Macs34 · Joined: 25 Mar 2004 Posts: 3467 Location: Kenya

Dear Chat members,

I might not be in the right topic chat but ma question is this; What will you if you find that You have fallen In Love with Your friend who has been Confining in you her/his marriage problems?

Pliz if you have anything to say I will be waiting here. It will be a big help I would have gotten from you.

Thanks.

Macs here. :roll:

twinkletoes · Tell a Friend Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:16 pm Post subject: Re: In Hot Soup!!

Macs34 wrote: Dear Chat members,

I might not be in the right topic chat but ma question is this; What will you if you find that You have fallen In Love with Your friend who has been Confining in you her/his marriage problems?

Pliz if you have anything to say I will be waiting here. It will be a big help I would have gotten from you.

Thanks.

Macs here. :roll:

Hi Macs

Sorry, I have just seen this. My advice to you is to leave well alone. In my experience this kind of thing usually results in people getting seriously hurt. I dont know exactly what the circumstances are, but SOME men/women will tell a women/man anything to get their own way with them.

We can only give you advice, but the decision is up to you. I can tell you though that a friend of mine has just been through something similar and has lost a heck of a lot through it.

I wish you all the wisdom to make the right decision.

xxTTxx

karokechick · Guest

i think that if this person has given any signs that they may have feelings for you then you should go for it, but be warned tread carefully because they are going to be going through alot over the next couple of months but keep strong for both your sakes
:D

Phoenix Labhaoise Iola · Guest Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 31 Location: UK

Dear Mac,

By all means be there for them, as a friend. Right now it is going to be a very confusing time for your friend. Emotions run high at the break down of any relationship.

Becareful how you tread, as there is a risk of 2 things you should be very aware of:-

1, Hero effect. This is where the victim begins to Idolise the one they see as 'saved' them from hurt. This is not really true love, mearly an infactuation that can turn sour for both people. The victim can become obsessed with the savior and this alone could be a driving force to emotional danger for all involved.

2, Rebound. Are you sure you wish to be the rebound love? It is vary rare for relationships immediately after a severe break up to blossom. Feelings fade quickly, leaving resentment and sometimes even disgust at your own behaviour for both of you.

Really in effect, the best thing to do is wait. If 6 months down the line you get together and it works, it was ment to be. Right now your friend is very hurt and needs time to heal, let them do this and if a relationship does develop after the healing, it is more likely to be a happy, healthy one.

Phoenix

shellyx · Tell a Friend Posted: Mon May 03, 2004 5:35 pm Post subject: the decision is urs

my advice is to

STOP, THINK DO

short but sweet, dont forget to think of ALL the consequences. then do what u must.

all the best

Shelly x

Ladylife · Guest

How sad to think that friends will even consider dating one's present or past partner! It's just plain tacky, immoral and in the very worst possible taste!

Your friend confided something in you which shows how much she respects you and your friendship which means there is a very special bond there. That is something very sacred and special.

It is NEVER okay, under NO circumstances to date a friends partner - even if they break up. (My humble opinion.)

There are more than enough single people walking the earth so try to find a friendship/date with someone who has no history with a person who confided in you, trusted you and is going to be hurt beyond words when she finds out that you are now dating this man.

You simply do not do that to friends! Unless other people's emotions and pain you ARE going to cause them does not matter to you at all. :(

twinkletoes · Tell a Friend Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 11:09 am Post subject:

Ladylife wrote: How sad to think that friends will even consider dating one's present or past partner! It's just plain tacky, immoral and in the very worst possible taste!

Your friend confided something in you which shows how much she respects you and your friendship which means there is a very special bond there. That is something very sacred and special.

It is NEVER okay, under NO circumstances to date a friends partner - even if they break up. (My humble opinion.)

There are more than enough single people walking the earth so try to find a friendship/date with someone who has no history with a person who confided in you, trusted you and is going to be hurt beyond words when she finds out that you are now dating this man.

You simply do not do that to friends! Unless other people's emotions and pain you ARE going to cause them does not matter to you at all. :(

Hi ladylife

I see where you are comming from and I agree that one needs to tread carefully here. I do think it depends on the people involved though. I had a BF but we just were not bringing out the best in eachother in the relationship so we called it a day..... we did remain friends though. Anyway, him and my friend started seeing eachother and I honestly had no problem with it. I love both of them and if they could make eachother happy, that was cool by me.

HOWEVER, I would do not believe in *stealing your friends BF. I remember how horrid that was when I was a teenager. One of my so called friends always went out of her way to take my BF's away from me. :cry:

I also think that ppl must bear in mind that when you share deep problems with someone, it can lead to an emotional connection. Unfortunately this is sometimes mistaken for love and sadly it ends in tears.

Fact of life ...... We cant always help who we fall in love with though.