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~~debbydo~~
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 19959
Location: Hertfordshire
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 8:13 am Post subject: men jokes ..... |
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MAN JOKES
Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. OR Three -
one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.
Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one
need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder: "Instruction Manuals".
[smilie=to funny.gif] [smilie=to funny.gif] [smilie=to funny.gif] |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13228
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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| :lol: |
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~~debbydo~~
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 19959
Location: Hertfordshire
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:30 pm Post subject: |
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| well thats how i felt this morning .. he annoyed me .. :smt013 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13228
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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| That's sommat they're very good at :-D |
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~~debbydo~~
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 19959
Location: Hertfordshire
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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| oh yes moaning cos i'm on here posting too much :smt011 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13228
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:53 pm Post subject: |
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| He moans at you for that? :lol: |
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~~debbydo~~
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 19959
Location: Hertfordshire
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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yep ... :smt013
but i'm stuborn .. :smt012 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13228
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 3:16 pm Post subject: |
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| No you're not! |
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~~debbydo~~
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 19959
Location: Hertfordshire
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| leanne no man is going to tame this old tiger ... :smt005 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13228
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Haha! :lol: |
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~~debbydo~~
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 19959
Location: Hertfordshire
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:31 am Post subject: |
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| well my ex couldnt and my boy friend is trying ... :smt005 |
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Abi
Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Posts: 709
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:02 am Post subject: |
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| Your allow to post here! and hahahahahahahahha......... |
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Abi
Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Posts: 709
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:02 am Post subject: |
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| Your allow to post here! and hahahahahahahahha......... |
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bacchus
Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 169
Location: k.e.n.y.a
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:30 am Post subject: |
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:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt023 my word i can't breathe oh i forgot :smt022 :smt022 why would you say such mean things about us men :smt012 but still :smt005 :smt005 true true true i love the whistling bit :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 hilarious debbydo hilarious.
but at the risk of being called a traitor i'll look for a rejoinder
now i can't trash your man i sympathise with him(esp after the liplashing you and pingu laid on him) why don't you try introduce him to the forum-once he gets hooked he'll understand-the down side is you'll most prob be on his case for "overposting"
love the joke encore |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:18 am Post subject: Re: men jokes ..... |
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[smilie=to funny.gif] [smilie=to funny.gif] [smilie=to funny.gif]
~~debbydo~~ wrote:
MAN JOKES
Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. OR Three -
one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.
Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one
need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder: "Instruction Manuals".
[smilie=to funny.gif] [smilie=to funny.gif] [smilie=to funny.gif]
Aouch!!! :smt005 |
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