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bubbleflower
Joined: 29 Dec 2004
Posts: 49
Location: Lancashire, UK
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 3:31 pm Post subject: A Letter to Your Cats and/or Dogs |
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The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following 'Rules' on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy and walks on all fours. Although they doesn't speak clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially cats.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does not apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!!!
:mrgreen: |
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ukevents.net
Joined: 15 Dec 2003
Posts: 2438
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 8:41 am Post subject: |
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| :smt043 |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 6:18 am Post subject: |
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| :smt052 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13227
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 10:56 am Post subject: |
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| :lol: |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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| :smt008 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13227
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 4:00 pm Post subject: |
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| :o Who you kissing? :lol: |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Your forehead!!! i didnt get a nice on of the head :-D :-D |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13227
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Thu May 26, 2005 4:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Awww! :-D |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 7:41 am Post subject: |
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| Next time om not kiss yo any more!! :lol: |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13227
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 9:30 am Post subject: |
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| :o Why not? |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Becoz Jon ........... is gonna do this to me :smt021 |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13227
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sat May 28, 2005 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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| No he won't... |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 9:32 am Post subject: |
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Pingu wrote:
No he won't...
No yo are a lady and i am a man! Unless UK men arent like we down here! Believe me I m not supposed to even touch your hand past your wrist! :D |
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reddevilleanne
Joined: 20 Oct 2004
Posts: 13227
Location: Nottingham
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 11:27 am Post subject: |
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| Lol men and women can just be friends ya know, and there's nowt wrong with kissing someone on the cheek! :-D |
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Macs34
Joined: 25 Mar 2004
Posts: 3467
Location: Kenya
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| Tell a Friend Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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Pingu wrote:
Lol men and women can just be friends ya know, and there's nowt wrong with kissing someone on the cheek! :-D
is only the cheek wanna me to kiss or somewhere else! :lol: :-D |
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