someone who likes a laugh

tigger · Joined: 08 Mar 2004 Posts: 1

:)

hello I am here to chat to anyone who is friendly and likes to laugh

ukevents · Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 1941

Here is a funnie for you

How to make a lady happy

It's not difficult. To make a woman happy a man only needs to be :
>
> 1. a friend
>
> 2. a companion
>
> 3. a lover
>
> 4. a brother
>
> 5. a father
>
> 6. a master
>
> 7. a chef
>
> 8. an electrician
>
> 9. a carpenter
>
> 10. a plumber
>
> 11. a mechanic
>
> 12. a decorator
>
> 13. a stylist
>
> 14. a $exologist
>
> 15. a gynaecologist
>
> 16. a psychologist
>
> 17. a pest exterminator
>
> 18. a psychiatrist
>
> 19. a healer
>
> 20. a good listener
>
> 21. an organiser
>
> 22. a good father
>
> 23. very clean
>
> 24. sympathetic
>
> 25. athletic
>
> 26. warm
>
> 27. attentive
>
> 28. gallant
>
> 29. intelligent
>
> 30. funny
>
> 31. creative
>
> 32. tender
>
> 33. strong
>
> 34. understanding
>
> 35. tolerant
>
> 36. prudent
>
> 37. ambitious
>
> 38. capable
>
> 39. courageous
>
> 40. determined
>
> 41. true
>
> 42. dependable
>
> 43. passionate
>
> WITHOUT FORGETTING TO :
>
> 44. give her compliments regularly
>
> 45. love shopping
>
> 46. be honest
>
> 47. be very rich
>
> 48. not stress her out
>
> 49. not look at other girls
>
> AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO :
>
> 50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
>
> 51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
>
> 52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
>
> IT IS VERY IMPORTANT :
>
> 53. to never forget :
>
> * birthdays
>
> * anniversaries
>
> * arrangements she makes
>
> Unfortunately, even if you keep to all these rules, her happiness
>is
>
> not
>
> guaranteed.
>
>
>
> TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
>
> 1. xxx him
>
> 2. Leave him in peace
>

CraftiEst · Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Posts: 205 Location: Northern Ireland

Well now UKevents2 you can't expect me to let you post that without a reply....lol

1. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

2. How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

3. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

4. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

5. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

6. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

7. What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

8. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts. (mmmm...and there was me buying expensive nose strips...thinks again)

9. Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

and last but by no means least........

10. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.

wicked grin .....Est :twisted:

livingfunky · Joined: 11 Mar 2004 Posts: 14 Location: sussex

is this the bloke joke forum lol .. ok im adding one to ha ha :D
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
whats the difference between a single women and a married women?
Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.

thats all folks!!! :shock:

valery · Joined: 13 Feb 2004 Posts: 1 Location: suffolk england

men on the internet just like to be up there own 'buts' to get a reply....

most of them are probably at the mercy of a very 'powerful/controlling' female?????!

i would love to post an 'essex man' joke, but ...i have to admit i don't know any.

we can, however adapt irish jokes? how many does it take to change a light bulb???????

Keep on posting

Val

CraftiEst · Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Posts: 205 Location: Northern Ireland

Only one if he could just figure out where the light bulb's nappy is at!

~~debbydo~~ · Joined: 18 Jul 2005 Posts: 19951 Location: Hertfordshire

ukevents wrote: Here is a funnie for you

How to make a lady happy

It's not difficult. To make a woman happy a man only needs to be :
>
> 1. a friend
>
> 2. a companion
>
> 3. a lover
>
> 4. a brother
>
> 5. a father
>
> 6. a master
>
> 7. a chef
>
> 8. an electrician
>
> 9. a carpenter
>
> 10. a plumber
>
> 11. a mechanic
>
> 12. a decorator
>
> 13. a stylist
>
> 14. a $exologist
>
> 15. a gynaecologist
>
> 16. a psychologist
>
> 17. a pest exterminator
>
> 18. a psychiatrist
>
> 19. a healer
>
> 20. a good listener
>
> 21. an organiser
>
> 22. a good father
>
> 23. very clean
>
> 24. sympathetic
>
> 25. athletic
>
> 26. warm
>
> 27. attentive
>
> 28. gallant
>
> 29. intelligent
>
> 30. funny
>
> 31. creative
>
> 32. tender
>
> 33. strong
>
> 34. understanding
>
> 35. tolerant
>
> 36. prudent
>
> 37. ambitious
>
> 38. capable
>
> 39. courageous
>
> 40. determined
>
> 41. true
>
> 42. dependable
>
> 43. passionate
>
> WITHOUT FORGETTING TO :
>
> 44. give her compliments regularly
>
> 45. love shopping
>
> 46. be honest
>
> 47. be very rich
>
> 48. not stress her out
>
> 49. not look at other girls
>
> AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO :
>
> 50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
>
> 51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
>
> 52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
>
> IT IS VERY IMPORTANT :
>
> 53. to never forget :
>
> * birthdays
>
> * anniversaries
>
> * arrangements she makes
>
> Unfortunately, even if you keep to all these rules, her happiness
>is
>
> not
>
> guaranteed.
>
>
>
> TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
>
> 1. xxx him
>
> 2. Leave him in peace
>
what one do you do then vic .. :wink:
the last 2 for men .. :smt005

lovablemum · Joined: 02 Aug 2005 Posts: 4068 Location: Northants

Hello to all the newbies. I am Fiona, 30 and moved to Northants 3 months ago. I love chatting to friends and listening to music and reading Crime and Thriller Novels.

Hope to catch up soon.